These days I have become much more comfortable with risk taking.

That doesn’t mean I am ‘comfortable’, it means I am getting used to putting myself out there in bigger and more visible ways.

It wasn’t always this way as I am fundamentally a shy introvert and had to build self-confidence in order to take those risks. Following are 7 ways I practice building self-confidence.

 1. Relationships and Activities

Get away from or as much as possible limit your interaction with people that tear you down or suck the life out of you. Build relationships with those that support who you are and what you want for yourself. If you don’t have supportive people, look for ways to meet new people that are doing things you love doing.

eg. Gym, hiking club, craft class etc.

2. Take Quiet Moments

Take quiet moments to praise your own efforts rather than seeking external validation. If you are an approval seeker this can be challenging but make a vow to start valuing your own praise.

eg. When you seek validation what is it you want to hear from the? Say that to yourself.

3. Stop Negative Self-Talk

When you hear yourself saying ‘you’re such an idiot’, ‘you’re not good enough at this’, or other soul crushing things to yourself, STOP! If you wouldn’t speak to a child or animal this way why are you speaking to yourself this way? Don’t break your own heart. List all of the horrible things you say to yourself and next to each, come up with a positive replacement.

eg. ‘You’re not good enough at this’ can become ‘I’m doing my best everyday and I’m proud of that’!

4. Choose Positive Thoughts

Choose to look for positive thoughts that lead to positive feelings and a positive life instead of looking for negative thoughts that lead to negative feelings and a negative life. Consider this one of your most important daily practices over the course of your life.

eg. I love meditation with Oprah and Deepak, Happify and Abraham-Hicks daily quotes.

5. Be In Control

Be a master of your own ship or Queen of your own Nile. If you don’t yet know how to take the risks required to walk in your own shoes and craft your own life, make it a priority to get help. Enough said.

6. Repetition

Repetition makes you successful at your passionate pursuit so don’t give up because someone said ‘no’…. try again and again and again and you will eventually hear ‘yes’. The old saying ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’ applies here so keep going. I’m in this with you, I know it can be tough but don’t… give… up!

7. Stay Motivated

Visit Ted Talks and look for amazing videos like this one to keep you motivated.

You are a human, which makes you the same as other humans. And… You are also an individual; as such you are supposed to be different so stop trying to fit into a cookie cutter mold. Muster the courage to find your own voice, be and celebrate your individual self. Look for ways to experience who your really are.

eg. Time to take those guitar lessons you’ve been thinking about for 15 years but keep writing off as stupid, selfish or indulgent.
No one will believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself. If you want to build self-confidence believe in yourself enough to take the steps to get you there.

Begin with one step, then another and along your path you will feel an increase in confidence.


You’ve done the reading now its time for the doing!

  1. Review numbers 1-7 and pick the one that lights your fire, upsets you, and even makes you a little angry. That’s the one to start with.
  1. Brainstorm – I provided examples but what you will you DO and WHEN to step into boosting your confidence in the area you have chosen. I mean DO it, not think about it.
  1. What works for you when it comes to building self-confidence? Please share in the comment box below so other women can benefit from your experience!
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